Today we start a new program to help my son. It is known as FSP (full service partnership). While my son has loved his therapist, he was really not making improvement and what appealed to me about this program is that they are available 24/7. So if we are in an altercation I can call somebody other than the police to help.
My son was diagnosed as being on the Autistic spectrum when he was about four years old. I always loved how quirky he was and really thought nothing of his little oddities. In my family, uniqueness was always valued and rewarded particularly by my mother. But when Michael's tantruming became scary, my sister who had been a special education major in college, suggested we might need to get a diagnosis. It was always his anger that caused concern. It is his anger now that is making him intolerable.
He is sixteen. His rage has given me black eyes, bruised ribs and more recently burns on my toes from his attempt to wake me with a hot glue gun.
He is profoundly depressed and I've given him good reason to be. I've made us homeless. I am a single mother. I managed to keep the mortgage paid and be a stay at home Mom for a decade. In 2010, I avoided a foreclosure and did a short sale. After a year in an apartment, I wasn't able to pay that either and we got evicted. We now live in one bedroom of my sister's place. Mike sleeps on the floor.
Coupled with watching me get my hopes up as project after project fails, it seems that everything I touch turns not to gold but shit. Mike has reasons for losing hope; but truth be known, he wasn't the happiest camper when times were good. His anger was always a problem.
Still, it feels very much like we've been cursed and it's hard to be positive. My son is very in tuned to me. I can't hide this feeling from him.
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